Tuesday, May 1, 2012

A Love So Loud- Testimony Pt. 2

My name is Kenton Murphy, and this part two of my two part testimony.

The unknown.

Everyone reads that and it is probably one of our greatest fears in life. What lies ahead in the next minute, day, week, month, or year? Even though we question “the unknown” we still expect better days with no troubles or worries, but that’s not the case. In my last post I wrote about my experience with cancer, but what I experienced after my battle with cancer has also had a large affect my life.

With the unknown, comes death. We don’t like it and we all fight it everyday, but unfortunately we eventually come face to face with this phenomena with people we least expect.

For me, the unknown hit me hard with the loss of my dad on February 7, 2011.

*For those doing the math from my last post...yes, my dad died 364 days after I found out I had cancer*

I’m at a weird spot with the acceptance of what comes with death. On a daily basis I smile and think how lucky I was to able to get to experience 19 years with my dad, but on the same days I feel remorse and at one time, anger. Remorse in the fact that it was ONLY 19, and not 20+. I think about how much my dad will miss out on and how much I still needed to learn from him. Everyday I come to terms with the loss because it is a continuous growing process that will probably last my entire lifespan.

I also said anger. I can’t deny that right after he passed away that a little part of me was hurt by what God was putting me through again a year later. I kept questioning why this was happening to me and what was the point in trying so hard if the world is going to be ripped right from underneath you. Please don’t read that as me giving up on God or my faith because that isn’t the case at all. I was questioning what was happening, something NOBODY should do. Questioning what God has in His plans is not for us because we need to realize the bigger picture of life. We have to continue into the unknown, without fearing or worrying about it. Us fearing the unknown is us questioning what God is doing for us and His ultimate plans for us.

Through my dad’s death I learned a valuable life lesson that I’m sure that God wanted me to learn. Make a difference. Every breath we take is an opportunity to make a difference, but most of us are to busy wasting it on questioning the unknown. I’ve been guilty of this all my life, but it hit home when I lost my dad. The unknown was right in front of me and I was still questioning. This isn’t what God wants us to do. He wants us to live in the now and make a difference in the world. I was able to get a grip on this concept days after my dad’s death because I was able to see the impact that he’d had on so many lives on his time on Earth.

Remember, quit worrying about the unknown and put all your trust and love into God and He won’t lead you wrong.

One last thing...have you made a difference today? 

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