Friday, May 25, 2012

A Love So Loud- Selfishness.

     So many people have been asking me why I haven't written a new post lately. And my answer has been the same every single time..I can't find the inspiration that I need to write a heartfelt post. And while telling that to my best friend just now, I found my inspiration. Selfishness
     The reason I've been so uninspired is my selfishness. I remember my preacher said something one Sunday about how it seems like we have to keep having things happen in our lives to stay truly on fire for God. Like all that He does and all that He has made isn't enough? How is it that we are so selfish as human beings that we can't walk outside and just be inspired by the beautiful world? How is it that we are so selfish as human beings that we can't be inspired by a smile from a stranger? Who empowered us to believe that we are the ones who deserve to be inspired by things greater than what's typical in our day? Like it will only take a miracle or a job promotion or the big break you've been waiting for- to truly be happy.
     I'm guilty of this lately. I had surgery and I've been irritated about the fact that it has, and will continue to, change a lot of little things in my life. I donated my hair, my hair was my favorite thing in the world, and I'm sad that it's gone. WHAT? Is that living like Christ? Am I doing all I can be to bless the people around me with a Christ-like attitude? No. Not if I'm sitting around pouting about the pain I'm in and how short my hair is. I'm selfish. We are all selfish. And it took me reading Job to realize how absolutely ridiculous I can be when I let my human nature completely consume my heart. Because I can cry over how bad it hurts to move my legs, but at least I have them. And I can cry over how short my hair is but I couldn't imagine being the person on the other end of the donation.  
     Because ya see, I felt that God was pushing me away. I thought that God was testing me and trying to tear me down with all of the tiny things that kept building up in my life. But God is the same today as He was yesterday and as He will be tomorrow. And our God is so good. He isn't the one who changes, we are the ones who change. He doesn't ever go away. He's there while you turn your mess into your message. He's there when you feel like you have no hope. And He's there when your selfishness is too. He's there to show you that your problems aren't that bad. That your world really isn't caving in. And to show you that you're never alone. Cause even in your darkest hour, even on the days you can't find inspiration- God will wake you up. He will show you the beauty of the world, He will show you the kindness of a stranger. He will prove to you that you are loved. Because you are. We just have to stop being so selfish, and realize all that God inspires us with if we just take a step back and take the time to see it- cause life isn't all that stinkin' bad after all when we serve a God like ours. A God that showed the greatest act of selflessness by giving His only Son to die so that we, in all of our sin and selfishness, could have an opportunity at an eternal life. I think the challenge this week is for all of us to think before we pout about something selfish..because imagine what our world would be like if God had been.  

 "He must become greater; I must become less.” John 3:30 

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